I'm So Done!
You ever have a day where you just feel like a mess? Where it feels like you only half downloaded back onto the planet after less than 6 hours of sleep? The to-do list stares at you laughing all day because nothing is getting done. You pace in pointless worried circles. The clock ticks by and by, making faces at you. Everything that was NOT originally scheduled on your calendar, gets splattered and stained across your calendar like a sh*t-storm just rolled through with gale force winds of WTF? Yeah. That was today.
I once heard the popular half-medical, half-spirituality guru (who probably really doesn't like being called that), Deepak Chopra, say something very appropriate about this kind of day. He said, "If you wanna make God laugh, tell her your plans." Well, well, aren't you a smart one, Dr. Chopra? You and God may be laughing and giggling at my day, but do you see an LOL on my face?.
Truth is, however, I'm not really fretting too hard about it. Actually, now that I think of it, hmmm, not really at all.
I'm realizing I've come a long way from the control-freakish type-AAAA personality I was in years gone by. In my previous pensive incarnations, I would have stomped about, angst-ridden, beating myself up and beating my spirit down for not getting all of the juice out of this day I could have.
Guess I'm becoming a little less qualified for the ranks of the "functionally-crazy." Guess this is the evidence that I actually know better now.
Deep breath. Ahhhhhh!
I know that days like this come. They are built into the conveyor-belt of life –– the days where you were poised to be so productive and not a damned thing happens. Right? But if I'm honest, something DID happen. It really did.
So often, on the sh*t-storm days where I think I got noTHING done, I'm noticing, more and more, I, got done. I accomplished less "things" but I accomplished more "me." The items on my list did not get more complete, but I did. I met spiritual goals, not physical ones.
Me, being able to maintain my inner-peace in the midst of a day going the way it wanted, instead of the way I selfishly wanted, is an achievement. It is me, moving the ball further down the field in my quest to master my self, master my mind, master my emotions, and master my personal wholeness as a being.
"Artful surrender" has become a big part of my life these days. I'm so much more in the flow instead of flopping around in the water like a panic-stricken fool. Like a Palm tree, I flex and bow with the winds of my life these days rather than make war against it. Like an Oak, I used to snap before –– in more ways than one.
In some fair-balancing, just-recompense mechanism of this universe, I always get days where I'm so productive, I get 3-days worth of work done in 1. That'll likely be tomorrow. It's usually the day after. And it certainly was yesterday. Things get done.
As for today? I noticed myself, more in control of myself, amidst outer events I had little to no control over. This surrender made me more aerodynamic. This surrender made me less painfully dramatic. And in relative peace, I accomplished the most important to-do item of my life; I grew.
A D V E R T I S E M E N T
