WHY DOES “SELF-LOVE” SEEM THE HARDEST LOVE TO ACHIEVE?
The honest answer is this: It’s because you know all of your sh*t. You know all of your flaws. You know all of your secret short-comings.
And sometimes we even grow hard little “ego shelled facades” just to pretend like we DON’T know’em—to live in a safe, fragile, oblivion to them. You know the type.
Sometimes, it’s simply easier to love others simply because we don’t know everything about the other person. So, there’s just less to potentially judge––(until you get married to’em, and then, after 2yrs, learn everything about them too––and subsequently begin to hate’em as much as you habitually hate yourself). Lol.
Self-love can be exceedingly difficult to achieve because we can be ridiculously judgmental of self––like, way, way, way too judgmental. And, often, this spills over and outward, turning into convenient judgment (condemnation) of others. The New Agers called that one “projecting.”
But, be fair.
Do you truly get how hard the terrain of human life can be? Psychologically? Emotionally? Physically? Socially? Financially? Internally? Externally? I mean really think about that.
You marvel at your little puppies and how they stay in a constant good mood, wagging their tails and wanting to play––but that’s because they don’t have to deal with all the psycho psychological bullsh*t a human has to. LOL.
If somebody were rubbing my damn belly all day, feeding me, and picking up my poop droppings, I’d be a happy, playful, little camper 24/7 too. Wouldn’t you? You need to tell your dogs to get out, get a job, and see how they cope. Tell’em, “And go walk your damned self! Keys are on the table!” Yeah. Let’s see how long it takes for that tail to stop wagging. Your dog don’t want THAT life—the life you have.
So... Ease up. Ease up “on “you.”
Sometimes you need to look in the mirror and say, “I’m just a piece of human life trying to make it through this crazy bullsh*t called human life.“ Then, eye to eye, scream, “Have compassion upon me as I try to make it through this maze of madness!”*
Go ahead. I’l wait until you return from that exercise.
K. Resuming…
Some of you (and we) are doing MUCH BETTER at life than you (we) think. Some of you have gone through challenges and situations that others of us could never fathom facing –– and vice versa.
I’m here to tell you right now. Straight up. Personally. (YOU RIGHT THERE) —-> “You’re probably doing much better at this life than you think you are.”
I say that we ALL need and DESERVE a larger measure of compassion for facing the illusions of this life––especially––in the unconscious states we get taught and conditioned into, before, and while facing them. Feel free to “Amen” that.
True “self-love” only emerges after true “self-compassion” is applied. Read that again. Because that’s the recipe. You didn’t ask for all this craziness you were born into. But you faced it. And you survived it. And, yes, you’re still a little cray-cray and wounded (w/PTSD); keep it real; but at least you’re still trying to get through it and get better. And that deserves a strong measure of your self-respect for self. So give it.
If you truly want to get real about this, and a little deeper on it, know this. Self-love (or the lack of it) comes from the utterings of your inner voice. It does. I have a relentless 1960’s Marine drill Sergeant in my head. It ain’t pretty in there. I don’t know if this fool loves me or is trying to kill me. When I wake up, I can smell the cigar smoke from the half smoked cigar dangling from his bottom lip, “GIT UP, AKIL!”, banging garbage can tops n’ sh*t. With a scowl.
What’s “your” inner voice like? What is he or she saying to you when no one is listening but you? Think about that. Because to truly achieve self-love you have to begin editing that inner voice accordingly. Gradually. Compassionately. Skillfully. Over time. And things will change in that category of your life. Trust me.
I doubt if my inner voice will ever be all soft and gooey. I doubt if I’d ever want it to be. But I know it can stand to be more compassionate.
When I’m in my clearest mind, I know; I can stand to be more compassionate with my self, more compassionate with my scars and more compassionate about the situations I’ve come through. I’m guessing, some of you probably can too.
Self-love is achievable. Go for it.
One human to another,
— A
